he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.