she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
17 Women That Lost Condoms Up Their Lady Parts
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
23 People Confess The Most F*cked Up Thing Guests Have Done In Their House
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.