Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
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she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
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Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.