He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
