I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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