he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
