Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
