I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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