his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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