I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
