tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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