whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
