is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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