Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
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I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.