does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just want nice things and good sex
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
