Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
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If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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