there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
