Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
