fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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