I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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