You work out of a Hotel?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
