youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize