My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
