this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
