Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
