Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
