her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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