if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
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