a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize