i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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