She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
