she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
True college students do jello shots in the library
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