Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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