so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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