after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
