My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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