Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
