There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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