Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
