How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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