**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
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