More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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