So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
