I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Randomize
