Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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