ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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