Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
