Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
