Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
