so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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