Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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