You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
