That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
