i think i have two assholes
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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