I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
