You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
