I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
