He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Randomize
