How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
